Glossary Of Terms
| air dance: | Exactly what it sounds like. When there is no contact whatsoever during a private dance. | |
| ASS-C: | (ay-ess-ess-see) (1) alt.sex.strip-clubs, the Usenet newsgroup devoted to discussion of topics related to strip clubs; (2) if you know what ASSC means, you are a "member" of this group; (3) a 'force' that is greater than its collective membership; (4) when posting, preface your subject headers with ASSC: and set your news-reader to sort by "subject". It will separate your post from the spam. See also http://ass-c.org | |
| ASSCer: | (ay-ess-ess-see-er) if you know what ASS-C means, you are an ASSCer. Resistance is futile, Denial is rampant. | |
| ATF: | All Time Favorite stripper, see also "RIL" | |
| ATM: | from a dancer's perspective, a strip-club customer; i.e., a robotic device from which to extract money. | |
| bareback: | sexual intercourse without a condom | |
| BBBJ: | bare back blow job (oral sex without condom) | |
| blind lap: | the strip club equivalent of a blind date; a lap dance from a dancer you haven't seen dance for anyone else. ZBone advises, "BEFORE getting ANY laps, watch them do laps for other customers. At the minimum, watch them dance on stage. DO NOT get a blind lap. This is a NO NO to the max." | |
| blow job, BJ: | oral sex on him | |
| but-licking toady, BLT: | dancer-suckup, sycophant - anyone whose lips instantly and firmly attach themselves to any poster claiming to be a dancer, will agree with any proposition she puts forth, defend her against any criticism, forces of darkness, and be grievously offended on her behalf when someone makes a comment construed as insensitive about dancers (e.g., comparisons to prostitutes). | |
| Cleveland Steamer: | This is a method of breaking up with a significant other or a severe type of revenge. This is where the couple have one last night of outstanding sex. As the significant other falls asleep the guilty party proceeds to very gently leave a massive pile of excrement on the significant other's chest. | |
| clitty litter: | the remnants of a truly high mileage lap that stays on your pants. | |
| customer damage: | counterpart of stripper damage; customer damage is caused by chronic exposure to high concentrations of stripper shit and, unfortunately, can only be treated with more stripper shit. | |
| customer shit: | customer equivalent of stripper shit, includes things like making up stories about how much money you make, how important you are, how long your penis is, how many dances you're going to buy, etc. | |
| dancer politics: | the complex interaction between strippers as they compete to maximize their income. The impact of this interaction on customers, and its entertainment value, can be a significant part of the strip club experience for some. | |
| DATY: | dining at the Y; cunniligus, oral sex performed on her | |
| DFK: | deep french (tongue) kissing | |
| DP: | (1) dancer politics. (2) double penetration; penises in both her vagina and her anus at the same time. | |
| DV, DJV: | Deja Vu, nationwide chain of strip clubs; the chain's massive financial resources funded the development of the McDance. | |
| epiphany: | sudden realization that the strip club experience has suddenly become meaningless to you. Usually coupled with a resolution to find other things to do with your time and money. | |
| French: | oral sex | |
| full service, FS: | going all the way, sexual intercourse | |
| game boy: | a penis, see stick shifting | |
| GFE: | girl friend experience; this means different things to different people but involves providing aspects of social and physical interaction beyond the sex act itself. It's like having a real girlfriend for an hour. | |
| Greek: | anal sex | |
| grind: | contact between a dancer and a customer's lap during a lap dance. | |
| half and half: | some combination of oral sex and sexual intercourse | |
| hand job, HJ: | manual masturbation performed by her on him | |
| high mileage seat: | The location in the club where the highest mileage dances are available. Originally a reference to the favorite stage side tip rail seat of a legendary customer of the Chez Paree club in San Francisco, Bubba. | |
| hobby: | Euphemism for the regular use of prostitutes. To a PL, saying "I've been in the hobby for the last ten years," sounds better than saying "I've been fucking whores for the last ten years." | |
| hood ornament: | pierced clitoris | |
| hurl story: | a blatantly manipulative sob story from a stripper that is so trite and hackneyed, it acts as an effective emetic. See stripper shit. | |
| incall: | you meet her at her place -- an apartment or hotel room that she arranged | |
| IRC: | internet relay chat; an internet technology that supports real time chat. I offer that form of chat for twosheds.com visitors here. ASS-C also offers this form of chat here. | |
| ISO: | in search of; usually used in the subject line of a post or e-mail to indicate that the author is looking for information on someone/something | |
| K-Mart crowd: | cheap, non-tipping stage gawkers. | |
| K-Mart crowd control: | obnoxious, typically insulting attempts by the DJ to get the K-Mart crowd to tip. | |
| lap dance, lap. lapping: | a personal, one-on-one dance. In contrast to an air dance a lap dance includes some significant contact between the dancer and the customer's lap. | |
| LE: | law enforcement | |
| McDance: | perfunctory dance (table, lap, whatever) performed with the utter absence of imagination and eroticism, at a level of consciousness only marginally above death. The Deja Vu chain holds the patent. | |
| mercy dance: | dance bought to spare a dancer from absolute poverty on slow nights. | |
| mercy tip: | a tip given to a dancer out of pity. mercy tipping leads to mercy dances. | |
| mileage: | bang for your buck, how near to actual sexual intercourse your dancer is willing to go. Was it good for you? See also YMMV | |
| Mr. Happy: | A pet name for your penis. | |
| outcall: | she comes to your place -- your home, hotel room, etc | |
| PL: | pathetic loser; (a) the term Siren used in a private email to another stripper to describe ASSCers, accidentally posted the email to ASSC, and was flamed relentlessly by all of us whose fragile egos were bruised; (b) Saxbeat adds, "someone who comes to ASSC for advice on his (or her) love life." | |
| PSE: | porn star experience; sex with her is just like you always fantasized that sex with a porn star would be like | |
| raincoater, RCs: | The most perverse of the perverted. Raincoaters like raw strippers over 30 with big hair, fake boobs and thigh-high boots, and, as long as they can squat and pump, don't really care if they can dance at all. | |
| regular: | A customer whom a stripper can depend on to visit the club to see her at regular intervals. Strippers are often exceedingly protective of their ownership rights over their regulars as these are the customers that provide the stripper with a predictable cash flow. | |
| RIL: | A Regular In Love. A customer in love with his favorite dancer. Often manifests as a delusional state associated with the rapid emptying of the RIL's bank account. | |
| rim job: | analingus, tonguing the anus | |
| rock: | your penis; as in "waxing the rock" or "rock polishing." | |
| rock polishing: | a lap dance | |
| Russian: | his penis between her breasts | |
| Shift Happens: | Whenever a fave dancer does not appear on her regularly scheduled day or night. | |
| shill: | (1) (person) a life-form ranking somewhere between ferret and algae, like a DJ. In the post where the term was introduced, Saxbeat explained, "There are a lot of guys who work for clubs posing as members of the clubbing public for the purpose of making false club recommendations and fooling guys into going to their clubs. Guys who do this are what I call 'shills.'" Shills often forget to mention the city the club is in, but always include a phone number, sometimes without the area code. (2) (post) a glowing but ambiguous review for a club re-posted three times a day for a week in order to lure "other" customers into a club; recognized by
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| snaggy: | (1) Sensitive New-Age Guys; i.e., males who are annoyingly sensitive. LMR adds: it's what every woman claims to want in a man, but wouldn't hesitate 2 seconds to toss him out the door for a hardcore asshole; (2) emotionally weak guys who would do just about anything for a woman. | |
| snappy: | Sensitive New-Age Pussy | |
| stage inflation: | When customers at the stage start tipping more because other customers are tipping more. | |
| stealth lapper: | a dancer that is quiet and demure until she's gotten past your defenses - then KABOOM! You're *HISTORY*! | |
| Stevie, Stevie Wonder: | Customer's head is inserted between dancer breasts and battered about. | |
| stick shifting: | this is when the dancer grabs your bare cock with her bare hands and moves it around. | |
| strip club: | something you don't want to own | |
| stripper damage: | the negative psychological impact of the biz on a dancer, leading to drinking, drugs, unhappiness, or long hours of therapy. | |
| stripper shit: | teasing methods to induce arousal and cash spewing. Stripper shit includes things like rubbing her leg on yours, fingernails running up and down your leg very gently, crossing her legs so the top leg is on top of yours, standing next to you and partially straddling your leg, etc. PLs enjoy stripper shit. | |
| tea bagging: | squatting over her face and dipping his balls in her mouth. Also used to refer to any contact between his balls and her mouth. | |
| X-Factor: | attitude. "she...can convince me...that spending time with her is the sexiest thing I could imagine doing..." | |
| YMMV: | Your Mileage May Vary. Acknowledgement that the quality of the dances you get from any specific dancer or in any specific club may vary from that experienced by others. This variance may be attributed to a wide range of factors including which manager is present in the club tonight, how much your dancer has had to drink tonight, what cologne you are wearing, how attractive you are, how much money your dancer has already made tonight, etc. |